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Loop Trolley Driver's Ed Resumes Today as St. Louis Braces For Impact

2 years 3 months ago
In news that all St. Louisans who care about the physical well-being of their vehicles and bodies desperately wish was just an April Fool's joke, the Loop Trolley has lurched to life again today to begin operator training for the 2024 season as a weary metro braces for impact. While we can all agree that training the poor fools doomed to pilot St. Louis' most whimsical parked-car-bashing machine is an excellent idea — something obviously needs to be done, after all — it's just a point of fact that this period of Trolley Driver's Ed will be among the most dangerous of them all for those unlucky enough to find themselves in the Loop in the coming weeks. "Training" does not equal "trained," it must be noted, and that's an important distinction when one is staring down an unstoppable force of destruction hurtling toward them at speeds approaching 18 miles per hour.
Daniel Hill